Why Do Women Settle?

We as women are viewed as the stronger sex, not physically but emotionally. We are often overlooked when it comes to needing support. For some strange reason, we rarely are asked if we need any assistance, and because it's so rare when we are asked more often than not, we decline. Women are the backbone of the family and society; however, we seem not to know when it comes to our love life. How many of us have had conversations with ourselves and/or our girlfriends about relationships? How many of us have asked the all-time infamous question, "Why are you settling?" I know I have asked myself this question, and I have asked a few of my girlfriends a well. And the answer is always the same, "We don't know." It fascinates me how we can seem to have it all together when it comes to running a household, raising children, and even running our own businesses, but we seem to lose all sense of rationale when it comes to a man. Is it because we want so desperately to have the status of a relationship, a warm body next to us at night, or the comfort in knowing that our relationship validates the insecurities we try to hide? More particularly with African American women, we seem to bear the brunt of the lack of nurturing men failed to receive from their mothers, or if they lack respect for their mothers, we very often are the ones punished for what their mothers did or didn't do when all we are trying to do is love a black man. But I want to pose a question for you that I hope will cause you to reflect, Do we know how to love, or are we somehow imitating the love that we either desire or lacked in our childhood/? How many of us had a healthy example of what loving a black man should look like. Or is our view tainted by society and how the woman should somehow be the end all be all while the man gets to puff his chest out and reap all the benefits of our hard work? I often wonder if it is a matter of women not fully knowing; I mean that knowing in the pit of your gut, without a shadow of a doubt, knowing that we are the Queen and should be treated as such, should require to be treated as such. Anyone who does not or can not conform will not be granted access to us.

Does this concept sound foreign to you? Do those words make you uncomfortable, or do they inspire and motivate you to step in your power? I find that when we as women stand n the fullness of our femininity and exercise the power that is our birthright men, real men will begin to honor and respectfully submit. This submission does not in any way emasculate his manhood; instead, it is a reverence for the woman in all of her glory with full understanding that without us, he would be lost. It is time, Queen, for you to walk in your power! Stand in your glory, no longer bending to the will of men because you understand that you don't need saving.

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